Personal development

How to create your own personal boundaries

Even though you may not be aware of it, having personal boundaries is important and crucial.

Creating your own personal boundaries will help you navigate your adulthood with ease.

Unfortunately, we are conditioned from childhood to ‘conform’ and ‘blend with others’.

Most of us grow up pleasing other people, and not being given the space to have our own personal boundaries.

For example in school, where we have to follow certain rules without questioning them.

Another example is that maybe you don not enjoy spending time with certain family members, but had do attend family gatherings while growing up.

Therefore, for most people, it is difficult to set their own boundaries as they grow up.

This is because boundaries are not really given importance for children to know as they grow up.

It becomes more difficult to set your own personal boundaries because the fear of offending and hurting other people creeps in.

You may not even now what a personal boundary is so in this post, I will take you through the steps on how to create your own personal boundaries.

What are boundaries?

A boundary is a limitation and a space that you create between you and other people and certain situations and places.

Therefore, a personal boundary is a line you draw for yourself in relation to what others can or can not do, say etc.

Boundaries are very important because they protect you and your peace.

Always remember that you must always honor yourself.

Types of boundaries

Personal boundaries cover a wide scope of areas such as

Emotional boundaries

Emotional interactions you have with others

Time Boundaries

Physical boundaries

Who you allow to be in close proximity to you.

Material boundaries

Mental boundaries

Verbal  boundaries

 Interaction you have with yourself and others.

Not allowing other people to insult you or speak to you in a disrespectful manner.

By not allowing yourself to use certain words with others or with yourself.

Your boundaries with people in the work place

Family boundaries

How do I create my personal boundaries?

Personal boundaries stem from your likes, dislikes, and most importantly , your values and morals.

So personal boundaries are totally different from one person to the other.

Having and actually following through with your personal boundaries is a form of self love and self care.

It indicates that you know your self worth.

Having boundaries for how you interact with yourself is also very important.

In order to create your own personal boundaries you have to;

  1. Know your likes and dislikes.
  2. Be aware of your values and morals
  3. Know how to communicate them

Examples of personal boundaries are

  • I do not want to gossip about them, its not my story to tell
  • I can not come to that party this evening
  • I can only stay for an hour
  • Please stop asking me when I will get married. I would appreciate if you do not bring up this topic anymore.
  • I really do not like hugging but a handshake would be great
  • I would prefer that you ask me next time before touching my stuff
  • I can not lend out my car
  • I do not think talking about this matter is appropriate over dinner
  • I would appreciate if you do not use those words around me again
  • I do not like my hair being touched, please do not do it again. I respect your perspective but I do not view the topic that way

You can start establishing your personal boundaries by daily journaling in order to get to know yourself better.

Through journaling, you can have a clear understanding of what you will or will not tolerate.

You can use this journal prompts for self discovery.

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